China buys France

Don’t say you didn’t see this coming…. China, the second-greatest world superpower, has purchased the country of France.

Woo! Kidding. Check out our hilarious editor-in-chief’s farcical story in the latest edition of Carnet Atlantique:

“In a stunning pirouette, defying the laws of financial gravity, China handed over its trove of $3 trillion U.S. Treasuries to Goldman-Sachs which in turn leveraged them to borrow 10 Renminbi Billion Trillion which it used to buy France.

The U.S. Federal Reserve was forced to acquiesce. After U.S. Federal Reserve Chairman, Ben Bernake, at first refusing to cooperate, calling it financial alchemy, ultimately even Bernake, forced to relent when told that China would sell its treasuries on the open market, which would have sent the U.S. and world economies into free-fall. In the end, Bernake agreed to massive quantitative easing, lending billions to U.S. banks to facilitate China’s leveraged borrowing to fund its purchase.

Thus, in effect, China borrowed its purchase price from American taxpayers to buy France, a maneuver that left finance ministers world-wide in disbelief.

Major American banks fought amongst themselves to participate, lending China and Goldman Sachs the 10 Billion Trillion Renminbi needed to close the deal, funds which were pumped into the banking system by a reluctant U.S. Federal Reserve.

Republicans in Washington were in a foul mood. To a (wo)man, Republicans attacked President Obama for his lack of leadership in loosing out to France in the competition to be bought-out by China.

Click here to read the full story.

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