China buys France

All but inevitable?

Our editor-in-chief dared to ask–what will happen if France’s downward economic spiral continues? His tongue-in-cheek answer might not be as far-fetched as you think:

All across the United Kingdom, the Union Jack alongside “NOT FOR SALE” signs. Prime Minister David Cameron told Parliament:

“Ever since that little weasel Sarkozy told me to SHUT UP… but we do not remain silent: in the immortal words of Winston Churchill ‘YOU CAN’T TRUST A GOD-DAMN FRENCHMEN. Never. Never. Never. Frenchwomen? Forever! Forever! Forever!'”

Moscow, now surrounded by Chinese on all sides, took a measured, diplomatic stance. Vladimir Putin released a statement:

“We don’t give a shit which way we ship oil — we send it East — we send it West — all the same. As long as they pay in renminbis, not those damned euros.”

When pressed, he added:

“Maybe now Sarkozy will shut up. I won’t miss that insufferable weasel — but his wife, she’s another story — he should silence and get in bed.”

In an unprecedented act of statesmanship, Chinese authorities announced that Mao would go on a train tour throughout France in his climate-controlled glass train.”

Saudi Prince Faisad announced he had managed to extract the Elysee Palace from the transaction and covert it to a harem for 75 of 5,000 wives, but only after President Sarkozy had insisted that only his AAA Team Wives would live there and he, Sarkozy, would have visitation rights. “As for Hollande? I will introduce him to Segolene Royale.”

German Chancellor Angela Merkel was speechless. Announced, after several hours of silence “I will always have fond memories of that noisy little man.”

Read the full article in the latest edition of Carnet Atlantique!

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